Then reality hit. The kids start fighting, Bobby farts, the dogs are roughhousing, and I want to tuck and roll right out of this moving shit show. (I'm being a bit dramatic, but you catch my drift).
Sometimes happily ever after looks much different than you had pictured. So, for now, I say,
Fuck the lemonade and give me Vodka.
Divorce is not easy. In fact, it may be one of the hardest things I have gone through. But it is also one of the most freeing.
I won't go into the whole thing and bore you with the details, but I realized that being so involved with your spouse and worrying about their happiness, most of the time at your own expense, you can lose yourself. You lose the person you were, the person you want to be. For 18 years I lived for my husband. I supported his hopes and dreams and moved around the country thinking it would eventually pay off in the end. Well, it sure did pay off, for HIM. He was exactly where he wanted to be. But where did that leave me? Wishing I tucked and rolled!
Divorce sucks. It sucks really bad. But, I am on this amazingly hard, puke-inducing, beautiful journey to find who I am, and who I want to be. I'm 41, not the spring chicken I used to be. So this is much harder than it probably would have been 10 years ago. But I am ready for the challenge. I am finally done being the elevator that lifted him to new levels, while never getting greased or maintained. Secretly wishing I would have broken a while ago, and the elevator would have come crashing down, then maybe he would have to tuck and roll and I get to drive this rig. LESSON LEARNED!
So here I am, ready to make this life what I want. So now that the lemonade is made, I'll grab my Tito's, get behind the wheel and drive this rig, MY WAY. I may swerve, hit a few things along the way (😉), or even crash. But damn it, it's going to be my way on this crazy highway.
Cheers!
