This month marks 100 months since our journey began. It doesn't even seem real that it could be that long! 100 months of hope. 100 months of disappointment. 100 months of wondering why me. 100 months of feeling sorry for myself. And I am tired of this roller coaster! Its like the tea cups at Disney World. Round and round and round with no end in sight, wishing you wouldn't have eaten that hot dog, cause you know its coming right back up...I digress, but you get the point!
But, in all honesty, this huge milestone has challenged me to rethink how I see our infertility journey. After all those long months of this difficult journey, I have realized my mom has been right this whole time, there is a reason for our struggles. Hindsight is always 20/20!
I have been blessed with infertility. If you would have told me 50 months ago that I was going to make that statement, I would have 100% not believed it. I know they say you are never ready to have children, but throughout the years if we would have had children would we be where we are today? Probably not. Would we appreciate each other the way we do now? Probably not. Would we be blessed with children that need us just as much as we need them? Probably not.
We have decided to forgo fertility treatments. The last 3 rounds did me in, and I think Bobby feels the same. So we are full force searching for our children. And honestly it only seems natural, Bobby and I met online, why not find our kids online too!
For the first time in this crazy journey we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are so close. Even after finding out everything about us, and I mean everything, they have decided to approve our home study! We have had such a good experience with this process. Children's Home Society of North Florida is such an amazing organization. And we are very blessed to have them in our corner.
Thank you for all of your support. We could not have made it without all of you who have been by our sides through this journey. I am hoping the next blog will be about our child or children! We are so looking forward to this new chapter in our lives.
Cheers to the next 100 months!
